MARRIAGE IS DIVINE AND HUMAN
The reflection of this Sunday invites us to see the institution of marriage as something holy in the natural order of the creation of God. The topic of marriage is one of the touchy topics of our time. This is because of many controversies around it.
Currently, with the growing number of singles, single fathers or mothers. Equally at the high rate of divorcees and LGBTQIA+ in Christian congregations and assemblies. It is becoming more difficult for a pastor or priest to preach on topics of marriage and family. It is likely impossible to preach or teach on the readings of this Sunday. Without the priest or pastor offending some members of the congregation.
However, the divine and natural truth must be preached and taught irrespective of contemporary social and political views on sexual orientations, marriages and family. There is an eternal truth we cannot deny or silence because we do not like it.
This divinely made union by God, for man is under the ferocious attack from man, ideologies, and systemic structures of secular society. Yet, it is one of the most important institutions in human history. We all are products of this fundamental institution. Even God, at the fullness of time, came through this sacred institution.
An attack on marriage is an attack on humanity, family, society and the Church. It is apparent we know this and take to the defence and preservation of the holy institution of marriage. This is because very often, the devil and his agents attack this institution. They do this destruction not only from outside the Church. But also from within through us, the Christian Church, which protects and preserve this sacred institution.
The divine nature of marriage calls us to live within the plan of its originator. That is, by divine design, marriage is between a man and a woman. For cooperation and collaboration with God in his, continue work of creation and procreation.
Equally, the human nature of marriage challenges us to embrace courage, creativity, sacrifice and suffering for it to work or function well.
Marriage is not a social game or a play, nor is it a thing of human, society and government creation. It is a commitment or decision to cooperate with God. It is a divine creation with a divine mandate for us to cultivate, preserve and transmit.
One of the greatest tragedies of our time is to see an unrented desire of man to save and conserve nature. While at the same time, working ruthlessly to extinct the human race. Through his ideological promotion of the cultures of death, the weapon of mass destructions and the creation of bio-weapons.
OUR THEME
The biblical texts of our reflection this Sunday invite us to the fundamental truth of marriage. Marriage is the creation of God and also an invitation to us to share in his love. A beautiful continuation of God work of creation through the proclamation of marital love.
The biblical readings also affirmed the eternal truth that marriage was never made by God to end in divorce and separation. It is a call to the spouse to live in love: for God is love (1John 4:8).
The readings of this Sunday also made it plain to us that no human relationship is free of hitches or pains. There are some sufferings or sacrifices which come with marital commitment. The commitment to love, to relate and to share one’s life with others in marriage.
FIRST READING: GENESIS 2:18-24
The creation story of Genesis is one of the most beautiful stories of the bible. It is the story of God creating a lovely and perfect creation, which he entrusted to the care and keep of man. It is a great trust of the creator to his creature: man. A mandate to care for the world and all therein it.
It is a reading that takes us to a renewed context of creation. Where God entrusted man with a sense of ecological care for the earth. An invitation to look after all species of animals, plants and indeed all created things with care and love.
The reading from the Book of Genesis reminds us of some fundamental and eternal truths the world and those who attack marriage and family would not want to hear.
MAN AND THE CREATION OF GOD
Creation has a creator: God. The works of the creation of God are good, whole, perfect, and beautiful.
Creation was made to care for the needs of humans. In the same way, humans were tasked with exploring, protecting and caring for it. There should be a mutual co-dependency between man and nature.
Man and nature are not at war with each other. It is erroneous for man to misinterpret the divine mandate of God for man to use the earth as abuse, exploitation and destruction of nature.
Man is the fullness of the creation of God. As St Irenaeus would say: the glory of God is a man fully alive.
THE ORIGIN, NATURE AND CONDITION OF MARRIAGE BY GOD
- Man: male and female are both created in the image and likeness of God. One (man) is not superior to the other (woman). They are partners and complementary to each other.
- The woman is not a property of a man in the union of marriage. She is a co-equal or indispensable partner in every ramification.
- There is a role or function of being in marriage between the man and the woman. That is, the man is the head, and the woman is the body. The two function together for the perfect human family, just like the head and the body for the proper function of the human body.
- Marriage is a divine ordination of man and woman to be co-collaborators in his ongoing creation and preservation of the earth.
- Marriage is a divine plan and purpose of God for man. Man cannot live a meaningful, peaceful and fulfilling marriage outside God. Human beings and society cannot dictate what marriage is or how it should be lived.
- The divine institution of marriage is between one man and one woman. It is not between one man and many women. Indeed, God only took one of the ribs of man and closed up its place with flesh. The one rib the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
- Consequently, marriage follows a natural order of a man and a woman. It is not a union of a man with a man or a woman with a woman. Nor more or less, it is a union of a man or a woman with an animal. This is why God never find among the animal any suitable partner for the man.
- God never intended man to be alone without a mate or partner. Marriage is a union of sharing between a man and a woman.
THE SPIRITUAL MATHEMATICS OF MARRIAGE: THE TWO IS ONE
God intends man and woman to become one flesh. A perfect union of two synchronized to become one flesh, mind, soul, and spirit. The unification of two bodies to become one flesh is a spiritual maths or mystery that defies human logic comprehension. Yet vital to the physical and spiritual wellbeing of the spouse.
God made man and woman for each other. Hence, in marriage, they are no longer two but one, united by an unbreakable bond. In the plan of God, there is no room for divorce, and marriage is indissoluble.
The text proclaims that, from the beginning, God intended men and women to interact with mutuality and partnership.
Finally, marriage involves willingness, free choice and sacrifices of the spouse to work humanly.
There is a matrilocal portrayal in 2:24, “a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife”. It is a total deviation from the patrilocal norm of the ancient world. This means there should be openness and creativity to marriage. And not sticking to obsolete traditions or maintaining the existing status quo of patriarchal mentality.
PSALM 128
The responsorial to the psalm of today invites us to invoke the Lord to bless us all the days of our lives. Especially as we live to fulfil His divine plan and purpose for us. It is an appropriate psalm to our theme of celebration today: marriage.
It is a divine call of God to us to share and witness to his divine purpose for us. In other words, living out the purposeful plan of God in marriage and our relationship with Him will bring us happiness, peace and prosperity.
There will be goodness, fruitfulness and grace in the married spouses, their families and us. No wonder the Holy Bible says the man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favour from the LORD.
Such a man fears the Lord, and therefore will be prosperous in life and anything he does. His wife and children will be not only fruitful like a vine or flourish live olive; they will be blessings unto him.
Concisely, for the psalmist in the plan and purpose of God: marriage is a blessing and never a cure. It is meant to be enjoyed and never to be endured.
SECOND READING: HEBREWS 2:9-11
At first, the context of the seconding seems out of place with the first and the gospel readings. However, at a closer look, it seems to be so but deeply connected with the theme of marriage.
First, Christ died for the truth of marriage. It was one of his points of disagreement with the Jewish religious authority of his time. The insistence of Christ on the truth was why he had to suffer. His fulfilment of the plan and purpose of God for us was why he paid the ultimate price with his suffering and death on the cross.
That is, God made Christ perfect through suffering. Hence, we are invited to embrace the ways of crosses, suffering, and pains in marriage is necessary for a fruitful and meaningful marriage.
This is not an advocacy for stoicism, a lifestyle of hardship, harsh, and unbearing situations in the name of marriage. There is some sort of meaningful suffering in marriage for it to work. The spouse makes these sacrifices to martial perfect. These entail the effort of fidelity, love and care to realize in the will of God.
In Christ marriage to us, he made all things perfect through his voluntary suffering. In the struggling union of marriage, the man and woman must make sacrifices. They must fight for the sustenance of their marital union and family.
THE GOSPEL: MARK 10:2-16
The gospel text of today is a reconfirmation of the first reading from the Book of Genesis. It began with a fundamental question, which the Pharisaic group asked Jesus on marriage and divorce. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?
WHY DID PHARISEES ASK JESUS THIS QUESTION?
It is interesting to examine why these doctors and teachers of the Word of God and the commandments of God asked Jesus. A fundamental question on marriage and divorce, which in a way they know the answer.
Marriage must have been a pertinent issue among the generation of the time of Jesus as it is today among us. Hence, marriage and divorce are burning topics among rabbinic scholars of that time.
The question must have come like a test of the orthodoxy stand of Jesus on such vital issues. They asked him with the hope of having something to accuse him. It may well be that they honestly wished for the opinion of Jesus on it.
It could be that Jesus had already said something on the matter. Matt.5:31-32 shows us Jesus speaking about marriage and re-marriage. This time these Pharisees had the hope that he might contradict himself and entangle himself in his own words.
Possibly, they knew what he would answer and wished to involve him in enmity with Herod, who had divorced his wife and married another. In another sense, they expected to hear Jesus contradict the Law of Moses. As indeed he did, and thereby to formulate a charge of heresy against him.
One thing is certainly clear from this question. The Pharisees did not ask Jesus an academic question of interest only to the rabbinic schools. It is also a question, which borders on one of the fundamental and controversial issues of the all-time.
THE AUTHORITY OF MOSES ON MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
Jesus knew that intention of their hearts and decided not only to make allusions to the authority of Moses. He is one of the most respected patriarchal personalities of the Jewish people. He took them to the origin of creation and let them see the intended purpose of God on marriage.
He asked them for the view or teaching of Moses on the divorce. “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.”
The modern man or Christian would have been so please with the approach of Moses to marriage and divorce. A beautiful reaction to a very touchy topic and more so an easy and light solution to the most fundamental human problem.
Hence, Christ was quick to add that it was because of their hardness of heart that he wrote this commandment for them. In other words, Moses did not give them a permanent solution. He only provisionally offered them a temporary solution or way out from abusive marriage or relationship.
He must have been aware of the danger and cruelty a woman faces when her husband no longer likes her. Instead of continuing living in an inferno, he sympathetically offered the woman relief from the masochistic nature of men.
Finally, the solution offered by Moses though scriptural (Duetermony 24:1-2), did not contradict the will of God. It was a preferential option to save womanhood from the cruelty of men.
However, it will be proper for us to examine profound the affirmation of Christ on marriage and divorce with the Genesis account. Unequivocally, Christ speaks in favour or defence of the most attack institution in the world: marriage.
Jesus presents us with an ideal principle of marriage that the Church should teach unadulterated. He challenges the falsehood and misconception of marriage occasioned many years of watering down the truth. Moreso, false teachings deviate us from the original plan and purpose of God for marriage.
He observed that the stubbornness of man and woman is responsible for the too many complexities in marriage and human relationships.
JESUS EXPLANATION OF THE PLAN OF GOD FOR MARRIAGE
In the mind of Jesus, there are no better refutations to erroneous ideologies of marriage, family and human sexuality than the highest authority, which is God and His Word. The source of the divine truth and the natural principles of creation.
There is a divine origin of marriage. Ab initio, God made them male and female. This implies marriage was in the contemplative plan of God for us.
God made them male and female. This means marriage does not have only divine constitutional value. It corresponds to the natural law of created things of procreation made possible of masculine and feminine make-up of nature, including humankind.
For Christ, marriage is a mystery of attraction between a man and a woman. It is a call of the sacrifice of love between a man and a woman to have a fulfilling life doing the will of God. It is never a relationship of man to a man or woman to a woman. Nor it is a relationship of a man or a woman to animals or pets.
It involves the given up of patrilineal or local mentality to embrace a matrilineal or local mentality. This implies creativity, openness and flexibility of socio-cultural stands of men and society against women.
The marriage union is a divine ordination of God and not a human declaration. Hence, no one or man should put asunder to what God has ordained or decreed.
Marriage is an established covenant between a man and a woman. Where God, them and us are witnesses to the profession of love, care, fidelity and
This is a crucial warning to us all never to become an obstacle or source of division to marriage. By this, Christ established the indissolubility of marriage. Except in the case of no marriage in the first place, like cohabitation of a man and a woman.
A fail marriage is a distortion of the natural harmony of creation and the intended purpose of God for humanity.
Infidelity is never a perfect bond of relationship or marriage.
There is untold difficulty in marital breakups on the children, family, society and even the Christian Church. The marriage of a man and a woman is one of the great signs of stability and security for children. It creates a sense of wellbeing: socially, academically, psychologically, religiously and behaviourally.
CHRIST AND LITTLE CHILDREN
Interestingly, Christ had to welcome and bless little children after talking about marriage. There is a beautiful connection between marriage with children. The presence of the children in marriage is a blessing from God.
It is the continuation of the creation of God through procreation, care and education of children. With the presence of children, marriage and family become the primordial and domestic Church within the Christian Church or community and even the larger society.
Hence, Children do not only represent or teach us a lot about the kingdom of God. They merit sufficient attention from God like adults. Sadly, there are many people including, the pastors, who think God is only for adults. For them, the children, adolescents or young people have no business with God.
Thereby, they neglect to give attention to them who will form the tomorrow Christ church and society. There are many actions of adults and parents, which prevent children from getting closer to God. Like the actions of the disciples in the gospel of today. No wonder Christ was disgusted with their actions.
“LET THE CHILDREN COME TO ME”
Jesus reaction to the disciples and invitation to the children to come to him tell us a great deal about Jesus.
He was the kind of person who cared for children and for whom children cared and loved to be around him. Children are attracted to adults who are like them in nature and character.
Most certainly, Jesus is not a stern, gloomy, and joyless person. Children are scare of serious-looking or minded adults.
Christ must be a joyful, smiling and happy, easy-going fellow to attract the children and their parents to him.
To a large extent, the ability of a man to flow with children or have children around flow comfortable and secure tell a lot of his humility and simplicity. This is why the scandal of sexual abuse against children did not only break the image of the Church. It also destroys the image or reputation of her priests and pastors.
Sadly enough, this affected the pastoral ministry of children in the Church. Today, many parents and guardians of children do not trust leaving or bringing their children or wards closer to the Church or priests.
In the same way, most pastors and priests shun or run away for children apostolate. They are afraid of being fearful that they could be accused of sexual misconduct. To worsen or complicate the matter, the act of child protection of many dioceses or religious congregations. Either sow the seed of carefulness, doubt or excuses in many priests and religious.
The spirit of Christ and his relationship with children invite and challenge us today as a church to seek out new, reliable, protective and trustworthy ways of relating with children and their parents.
The act of escape or excuses will create or leave a gap with grievous consequences of the future life and continuity of the Church through these little ones. If today the Church remains as the Church of adults and elders with no place for children, adolescents or youths.
There is an urgent call to the Christian Church to have new and authentic blueprints for faith education. The Church faithful must embark on a thorough and active evangelization for marriage, family, children/adolescents/youths ministry. Catechetical institutions of children, adolescents or youths are not enough to keep the spirit of faith and Catholicism alive.
THE CHARACTER OF A CHILD AS A SYMBOL OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD
The presentation of children by Christ as to them belongs to the kingdom of God. It is a big lesson for adults, especially for adults who enter the covenant of marriage. How are children models of us in our adult relationships?
- Children have the most humble personality in the world with no ego. Children have the humility to recognize and accept their mistakes. They admit humbly to being wrong. As well as acknowledge and apologize with ease when they are in the wrong.
- There is absolute obedience in children. Even when a child is disobedient, the paradox though, the child has a natural instinct to obey.
- Children have no problem with trusting except if they are told otherwise parents. They are flexible to authority, and they have confidence in other people.
- Children have a short memory. This makes them forgive and forget easily. They never hold grudges, resentment, or nourish bitterness, except adults teach them.
- Children are pure and innocent in their thoughts, words and actions. They have a simple logic that is not aimed a deception, control or manipulation. Children are open books for all to read.
- They are raw, natural, and human with no ulterior motives or shade of pretence. They live in the moment and move on.
Children are joyous, happy, caring and plain. Life merrily goes around with them. They never live through life with worries or cares. Except when adults infested them with a sense of anxiety and insecurity.
These are the child-like attitudes or mentalities Christ wants us to bring into adult relationships, especially the marital life. For our adult relationships like marriages and community/Presbyterian life to work, we must be humble, obedient, trusting, forgiving, open, human and joyous.
GLOBAL STATISTIC OF DIVORCE
According to a google search, there is a high rate of divorce and permanent separation today than at any time in human history. It has been put that in every five marriages today, two or three are likely to end in divorce.
Equally, there is an increase in divorce progressively, while there is an overwhelming reduction in marriage globally. There is a trajectory upward of divorce in the western world and the rest of the world. Here is a statistic of the trajectory of divorce from 1960 to 2021: 1960 (12%); 1970 (16%); 1980 (26%); 1990 (28%); 2000 (35%); 2010 (41%); 2017 (44%); and 2020 (50%).
From the statistic above, there is a 251.8% increase rate in divorce globally. A trajectory growth that will continue as there is less tolerance or endurance in marriage. A necessary Christian virtue this younger generation has less or none to the older generation.
Correspondingly, from 1960 to 2020 marriage rate has declined from 80% to 40%. This implies there are more divorced couples or persons today than there are married couples in the world.
The truth is that the love of divorce presents a harsh reality to us in the world. That there are fewer marriages and more divorces. The rate of divorce in the major religions of the world is as follows: Non-Catholic Christians (37%); Catholic (36%); Buddhist (30%); Jewish (28%); Islam (20%); Hindu (1%).
WHY MARRIAGES DO FAIL TODAY, OR WHY MORE DIVORCE IN THE WORLD TODAY
There are many reasons why there are many failed marriages today. A reflection on marriage cannot go without examining some of the reasons for many divorces, separations or failures in marital life.
- These are the most articulated reasons for divorce globally
- Communication problems
- Loss of connection or incompatibility
- Infidelity/trust issues
- Physical or emotional abuse
- Alcohol and drug addiction
- Financial problems
- Work/time pressures
- Family and societal interference
- Physical health or mental health issues
Sociologically, these are the reasons, incompatibility (44%); infidelity (18%); alcohol and drug addiction (9%); physical, mental and emotional abuses (6%), and others (23%).
FAILURE IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES TODAY
Besides these sociological factors, there are other socio-religious factors responsible for Christian marriage. Such as no proper courting, immaturity, and social media influences. One of the big reasons Christian marriage fails today is that it is more of a contract than a covenant.
Many Christian couples are “sacramentalized” but not evangelized to live the Christian in their marriages. Marriage is one of their achievements of life and not a priority to live more profound the Christian life with the context of their marriage or family.
Hence, God is lost from the equation of marriage. For many Christian marriages, there is no place for God. Such Christian marriages are bound to fail. This is because marriage can only be lived in the context of the plan or purpose of God.
Just as most marital failures are by-products of the spouses, societal and familial interference. The Church is not free of blame as there is a failure on the part of the Church to help most marriage candidates prepared for this lifetime commitment.
Practically, it is not adequate time for pre-sacramental preparation for marriage. This is a lifelong commitment, and the preparation of all intended couples should not be sacrificed on the altar of mediocrity. Simplifying the martial processes, especially its preparation. As a way of getting more married couples in the Church is creating a passage for failure.
Equally, what is the content of the marriage preparation in the Church today? The ideal of three to twelve pre-marital instructions that expand within the period of one month to three months is not enough.
It is of the view that all intended couples should be exposed to a solid marital spirituality that enables them to grow, develop and anchor their lives in God. A profound marital spirituality and pre-sacramental preparation rooted in biblical, canonical, theological, moral, ethical, societal and sexual studies.
The Church today should offer a truthful and sound position of God on marriage. The married couples or intended marital candidates ought to know the truth of marriage. Moreover, there should be no mumble-jumble, no some half-truth or convenience human adjustment of divine or natural truth.
FUNDAMENTAL QUESTIONS
- What is your take on marriage or the family? Do you have a solid conviction that God divinely ordains it? On the other hand, for you it only a human institution?
- Are you an advocate that anything goes in marriage, family or sexual orientation? Or are you a defender of the divine and natural truth?
- What is the base of your marital life today? Is it rooted in God, on divine truth and natural principle or societal values and standards?
- As a church, is our doctrinal teaching on marriage, family and sexuality based on the divine truth of God? Or on the congruent principle or truth of the order in nature? Or do you water down the Christian beliefs and natural order to accommodate fluid positions of men?
- Do you think that marriage and family what fighting for? Are you ready to embrace the sacrifices, pains and sufferings that come doing the will of God in marital life?
IMPORTANT POINTS OF THE REFLECTION OF THE WEEK
Marriage! The divine plan of God for a man and a woman. It is only in this divine plan that the human race is propagated, nourished and sustained.
Marriage is a mystery and a union of the plan of God for humanity. Marriage is between a man and a woman. In marriage, the man and the woman are equal in all ramifications. There is a mathematical union of the two becomings one before God.
No man or anyone should ever put asunder to the union of marriage. There is an annulment of marriage when it is considered that in the first place, what seems like marriage was never a marriage.
Marriage is an indissoluble union ordained and established by God. There is no divorce or permanent separation in a divine plan of God for marriage.
Finally, marriage is not a union of man to man or woman to woman. Nor one man to many women or vice viscera. It is never between a man or a woman with an animal or pet. It is a human sacrament for us to fulfil God divine will.
OUR PRAYER
Lord Jesus Christ, marriage, family and human sexuality are under profound crisis within the Christian fold. As well, they are under deadly attack from outside. There is a high rate of divorce and marital separation that threaten the God-intended purpose of marital union.
Help us keep in mind the original plan of God for marriage, family and human sexuality. May we always keep in mind the deep and spiritual meaning of marriage. Help us to respect the sacredness of life in a marriage. As well as the sacredness or blessedness of children within a marriage. Amen
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